Push Through It!

I was playing the drums the other night at the church.  Our worship team drummer has always wanted to learn how to play piano and I have always wanted to learn the drums, so we decided to trade talents and teach each other how to play.  The lessons are very informal, but they are working.  The more I play the drums the more respect I have for those who are good at it...you have to get 3 and sometimes 4 of your limbs doing something different at the same time.  You never quite understand your nature until you come to a point where you have to go against it...and that is incredibly hard to do.  You are going against something that is ingrained in you from birth- you're telling your body to go against everything it knows.  The reason I am going through such detail about this is so that you can understand what I was up against the other night.  I have been working hard on a beat that is much more complex than your normal beat...two weeks now I have been struggling to get it down.  Time and time again I came up short and the beat would fall apart.  So this brings you pretty much up to speed on where I was as I was setting there with "Joe the drummer."  I was close, but still not there and I heard the voice of Joe behind me: "Push Through It" "Push Through It Bryan" "Push Through It Man."  With the voice of Joe behind me, I kept on and kept on through the beat.  Each time I started to stop and evaluate what was going on, the voice of Joe would be there telling me the same thing, "Push Through It."  Now was not the time to stop...I needed to keep going until I made it.  Finally, the beat came to me and I did it...and did it...and did it- over and over again until it became a part of me and felt good.  Now I will stop the story and go earlier in that day...it was in the morning.  The day started off with a conference call that was everything but positive.  I am usually a pretty positive guy, but I felt like I couldn't shake it off this time- so I went to the bible for an uplifting word.  After reading a passage in Psalms, I prayed for a little while and asked God to go with me through my day.  I prayed for some inspiration maybe through a conversation or something.  After I left that drum session, the words "Push Through It" kept repeating in my head.  I thought about how many times I had lifted my voice to God saying, "This life is hard" and "God, I am weak."  The strong words were in the background, "Push Through it Bryan."  Life hurts sometimes, but the bible says that those who endure it will be rewarded.  We must be real and we must be honest, but we must also never forget that God is there to help us to "Push Through It."

What does it mean to "believe" in someone?

"It will not save me to know that Christ is a Saviour; but it will save me to trust him to be my Saviour.  I shall not be delivered from the wrath to come, by believing that his atonement is sufficient; but I shall be saved by making that atonement my trust, my refuge, and my all.  The pith, the essence of faith lies in this a casting oneself on the promise.  It is not the life-buoy on board the ship that saves the man when he is drowning, nor is it his belief that it is an excellent and successful invention.  No!  he must have it around his loins, or his hand upon it, or else he will sink."  Charles Spurgeon
I have daily inspirational words that I read on my phone written by Charles Spurgeon and what is written above was the one for today.  I have been thinking something along this line for a long time now, but never found the right words to explain it until today.  I had to read the words over and over again to grasp what they were saying...pretty heavy stuff.  I thought about a particular verse today that we all know very well:

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.  For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.  Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God's one and only Son."  John 3:16-18

If you think about someone you "believe" in, what do you notice about your relationship with that person?  What does it mean to "believe" in someone?  What does that look like in every day life?

It has been a while!

Journals can be very interesting- when they are done on a regular basis.  I know that I have not written on this site for a few weeks now, but I have still written in my personal journal.  When you set down and write- without a plan of what you will write about- you will often be taken on a journey through your own mind.  There are many things you can learn through journaling and it also gives God an opportunity to speak with you.  There was a particular journal that reached out to me and I thought I would put it below- so you can see what is going on in my life as of recently:

"Use your words Micah"...a common saying in our house.  Micah will get to a point where he will whine because he is wanting something and can't get to it.  Most of the time, we can't understand what he wants as he is doing this, so we will tell him, "use your words."  God gave us the capability to explain things using words so that others can understand an event, a story or a maybe even a feeling.  There are other things in this life that can not be explained with the words that have been given to us.  We try and try and try, but often times we end up just having to say, "you had to have been there" or "it's really hard to explain."  There are times when you just have to be inside a person to be able to grasp what is going on.  People are interesting...we all come together with different backgrounds...different childhoods...different experiences; and all of these lead us to different perspectives about everything.  Two people can go through an identical experience and be effected by it in two different ways because of everything previous that led them to that specific point in history.  I believe this is one of the reasons why God tells us not to judge people- it is imposssible for any of us to know what is going on inside anyone unless they tell us...and at that...we may still not be able to grasp it.  The words, "I understand what your going through" can only go as deep as the event itself.  How each person is effected by the event can only be understood by Jesus.  He is the only One who has walked along the way with you on all the previous experiences that has led you to that point.  One of the reasons Jesus is the most important person in my life is because no one else in this world knows me better than He does.  No one else understands me like He does...and in the way He does.  I have certainly been effected by the life and death of Kaydence in a way that only Jesus can understand.  I have had a wrestless spirit lately and the thing about it is this:  I go to work Monday through Friday and my job is to sell insurance products to people in need.  I go out and sell insurance to people to make a living and there are people living and dying without ever knowing what "True Life" is all about.  I believe that only God can give you this kind of conviction.  The mere thought of millions of people dying without knowing Jesus as their personal Saviour scares me into action.  In my mind, there is nothing more important in this life than knowing Jesus Christ.  And to walk through this life without Him should be terrifying.  I can honestly say that I am terrified for those who don't know Jesus on a personal level.  I have had a strong sense that I need to say "Yes" to Jesus.  The question, I belive, is:  Will you share your story with the world?"

After I realized what the last part of this journal stated, I understood a little better what was going on and things have become much more clear over the past few weeks.  I have taken some time to Rest in Him.  The thing I am needing to do is share our story about Kaydence with the world.  The way in which we need to do it is still unclear, but I have been let in on a piece of the bigger plan.  Immediately after this journal was completed I felt peaceful inside and have remained the same ever since.  It is as if God put the unsettling there so that I would spend some extra time with Him...and it worked.  I have been appreciative of all the prayers over the past few weeks and I ask that you continue them.  The biggest thing that I feel like I need right now is rest.  I have been exhausted over the past several days and believe it to be a sleep apnea/stress issue.  Hilary woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me that I was not breathing...I will be seeing a sleep specialist in April, but I still have March to make it through.  Thanks again for your prayers and support on our family.  One last note to Marcia...Thank You for your comment to me.  I needed to spend some time with God so that He could speak to me...now it is time to "Rest in Him" until I get further instructions.