Thursday, November 25, 2010

Spinal Tap!

There was a video that was shown in our church service last week called "The Thanksgiving Chair."  The video showed a man going through a day in his life.  The day started with breakfast.  As the man was eating with his children, he looked at them and smiled.  Then the camera showed a wooden chair out to the side of the man.  He got up out of his chair and moved to the wooden chair where he sat and thought for a few moments of the things he had to be thankful for.  As the day went along, the man went through several different situations to which he placed himself into the Thanksgiving Chair.  In some of the situations, it was easy to place himself in the chair- other situations were more difficult.  It was powerful to watch the man giving thanks to God for the things in his life through good times and hard.  Today is Thanksgiving and I find myself in a place where I need to sit in my own Thanksgiving Chair.  As we celebrated Thanksgiving today, I couldn't help but to notice that our family was incomplete.  I was back in our bedroom, looking through the pictures on my phone and came across Kaydence laying on the couch.  I was taken back to this time last year, when the monitors were going off and Kaydence was laying on the end couch cushion.  As I closed my eyes, I could feel her little hand wrapped around my finger.  I also could feel my hand resting on her leg as she slept there soundly.  I thank God for the time we had with her and the memories we are left with.  I also thank God for giving us a knowledge that this is not the end.  I was meeting with a man last week about a health plan and he told me about losing his wife.  He had been in a state of depression for a long time and thought often about suicide.  The thing that turned his depression around was when he realized that he would never see his wife again.  When he excepted that in his mind, he was able to move on and proceed with his life.  I told him about Kaydence and how our family is just the opposite.  We were able to move on with our life because we realized that this life is not the end.  I am thankful for the hope that we have in a better life.  I am thankful for the hope of a life that is whole and complete.  I am thankful for the Love of Jesus, that He would care about me...Bryan!  Not me as a human race, but me...Bryan.  We serve a personal God, who cares enough for each of us individually to have a relationship with us.  I am thankful for Hilary and Micah- how they love me and care for me.  I can hold the both of them in my arms each night and I am very thankful for that.  There are many more things on my list of Grace upon Grace, but I will move forward to news of my health.  Most of the results of the spinal tap are in and they are negative, with the exception of an infection that showed up in my white blood cells...which is nothing to worry about.  We are still waiting for the longer tests to come back, such as TB, but my doctor doesn't think they will have any content that will help in figuring out what this legion is from.  The plan from here is another MRI scheduled for May.  They are going to take another look at the legion to see if it has grown any.  If the legion has grown, they will take a biopsy of it and if it hasn't grown...I have no clue what she will want to do with me.  I will give a "Praise the Lord" shout out for the current results and at the same time ask for your prayers on this legion- whatever it may be.  Thank You for your continued support!  You guys are awesome and we love you very much!    

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