Wednesday, January 6, 2010

One last time is never enough!

Back when Hilary and I were dating- before we were married- our relationship was long distance. As a matter of fact, we never lived in the same city the entire time we dated- which was 2 years. I would often times drive to Springfield, MO on the weekends while I lived in Kansas City and we would spend the entire weekend together. When I moved to Nashville, TN- which was approximately 8 months before we got married- I was only able to see her once a month. At the end of the weekend, before I was to travel back to where I lived, I would hug her and give her a kiss good-bye before I would hit the road...then I would give her another hug and another kiss. After being on the road for only 5 minutes, I would be missing her and just want to hold her in my arms again and kiss her just one more time...but it would never be enough to satisfy me. I would long to be in her arms again and I would anxiously await for the time to come when I could hold her again for another weekend. It always happened at the end of our time together that we would say we loved each other one last time and give each other one last hug and kiss before we had to say good-bye again until the next time we saw each other. It was very difficult for me to drive away each time I had to say good-bye because it was never enough for me to hold her one last time...give her one last kiss...and tell her I loved her one last time. Back when Kaydence was first born and we were told that we were going to lose her down the road...probably shortly...we started to try to prepare for this moment when we would have to say good-bye to her. We would have to hold her one last time...hug her one last time...kiss her one last time...and tell her we loved her one last time. It wasn't enough though. We find ourselves going throughout the day wishing we could hold her again and tell her how much we love her and how happy she makes us feel. We wish we could kiss her again and spend more time with her...just one last time. Hilary and I got married and I didn't have to tell her good-bye anymore...I get to kiss her every night and tell her how much I love her. I get to hold her in my arms every day. I have found myself holding on to Hilary and Micah a little tighter than I used to hold them because I don't know when I won't have that opportunity anymore. There is coming a day when we will not be separated anymore from those we love. A day when we will be free to love them and not fear losing them. I am holding that day close to my heart and it is helping me to get by these days we are in now. There are better days to come for those who have their name written in the book of life. My name is in yours?

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